by guest blogger, Liz Wilson Morello, LCSW
I’ve always liked that “good enough” motto. I mean, who couldn’t use a little reminder that we don’t have to be perfect all the time? I’ve been seeing that phrase more and more as I scope out various mommy blogs and articles, but now that I’m a mother something about it rubs me the wrong way.
Sure, I think every mother, especially new moms, need to be reminded they don’t need to be perfect… that they actually can’t be perfect all the time (can any of us?), but do I need to label myself as just “good enough” to do that?
I’m reminded of a tendency I sometimes have to deflect compliments. I think its something lots of women do. Someone says they like my dress and I say, “Oh this is about a million years old,” or when someone says how nice my hair looks I tell them I didn’t even wash it today (or this week!). There can be such intense judgement and competition between moms, and women in general (that’s a whole other blog post!), yet it’s so easy to down play ourselves. I’m noticing it almost seems taboo to say you are an awesome mom. And I’m realizing I kind of resent that.
I carried my son for 42 weeks and gave birth to him which in itself is pretty amazing. I dealt with him not nursing well for months and months. I committed myself to a nurse, bottle feed, pump routine 24/7 for months. When he was crying I bounced him for hours on that stupid exercise ball (that I got to help with my serene natural birth… ha!). I play games with him and sing songs. We have dance parties. I know that one silly face I can make to make him laugh a big belly laugh. Am I perfect? Of course not. Do I have one of those seemingly idyllic lives that I see so many people post about on Facebook and blogs? Nope.
I’m just a regular girl… I’m just trying to figure this whole motherhood/ life thing out. But I have to say, I do think I’m a pretty kick ass mom. I’m not just “good enough,” I’m great. I think most of us are. In the same way we need to be reminded that we don’t need to always be perfect, we do need to be reminded that despite our imperfections and even our “bad” moments, we are more than just good enough… we are great.
Liz Wilson Morello, LCSW
Liz is a licensed clinical social worker who has been a counselor and therapist in a variety of settings in New York and Philadelphia over the last ten years. Liz is currently working as a therapist for University of Pennsylvania’s Counseling and Psychological Services. She has always had a strong interest in women’s issues and since becoming a mother is committed to supporting women, couples, and families. In addition to her clinical training, Liz has studied the “Birthing From Within” method and completed mindful stress reduction training which she incorporates into her work. Liz is very excited to be a part of the My Fabulous Mama team. You can find Liz at The Parenting Center on Sunday, April 6, 2014, where she is running her “Babyproof Your Relationship” workshop.